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A Single Parents' Story"Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well" -Lord Chesterfield 04 maart This is some info to be aware of if you have daughters...Pregnant Teens Have Unrealistic Views of MotherhoodMany think it will bring them closer to their boyfriends, survey finds
By Serena Gordon, HealthDay Reporter
THURSDAY, Aug. 10 (HealthDay News) -- Many pregnant teenage girls have unrealistic views of how their lives will be with a new baby, a new study finds. For example, some teens surveyed for the study felt they were prepared for the changes ahead and thought that having a baby would enhance their "connectedness" to other people in their lives, including their boyfriends. "The youngest girls were less likely to identify themselves as being unprepared," said the study's lead author, Cynthia Rosengard, a researcher in internal medicine at Rhode Island Hospital and an assistant professor of medicine at Brown Medical School in Providence. "Because they're not cognitively at the level of understanding the realities of parenting, our prevention messages need to be as salient as possible." The study was published in the August issue of the journal Pediatrics. While U.S. teen pregnancy rates have been declining, an estimated 800,000 American females under the age of 20 get pregnant each year. Nearly 500,000 of those pregnancies result in live births, according to background information for the study. Teens often don't seek early prenatal care, may not take proper care of themselves, and are at higher risk of having a low birth-weight infant, according to the study. "Clearly, understanding adolescents' attitudes toward and motivations for pregnancy may aid in efforts to educate adolescents regarding the realities of teen pregnancy/parenting and reduce the negative health consequences of teenage childbearing in the United States," the study authors wrote. To assess what the teens were thinking about parenthood at this time in their lives, Rosengard and her colleagues interviewed 247 pregnant teenagers between the ages of 12 and 19. Nearly one in four pregnancies was intended. The researchers asked the teens to complete a survey giving demographic information, and then asked them open-ended questions about their attitudes toward teen pregnancy and what they thought were the advantages and disadvantages. The answers to the questions varied, according to Rosengard, but some common themes emerged from the responses. Many teens felt that having a baby would enhance their connections with others, such as enabling them to create a family or get closer to a boyfriend. Some teens also felt that because they would be so close in age, they could be friends with their children. Some girls felt that having a baby early would give them more time to accomplish goals later in life. Dr. Irwin Benuck, an attending pediatrician at Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago, said one girl's response was particularly illustrative of the disconnect that expectant teen mothers' seem to have about the realities of single parenthood. "If I have a [sic] infant now, later on when I want to become a lawyer, my baby will be old enough," said the 15-year-old. Another young woman said having a baby would make her more responsible and hopefully keep her out of trouble. "I think it will keep me away from doing bad things like drinking alcohol and/or doing drugs. It will make me more responsible, and I'll learn how to depend on myself more," the 18-year-old said. Not all the teens thought having a baby at such a young age was a positive event. In fact, overall, the teenagers were able to name more disadvantages than advantages, the study found. For instance, many of the young women said the additional responsibilities would cause them to lose out on a typical adolescence. Some acknowledged that they might have to drop out of school to care for the baby and would have to reassess their life goals. About half of the girls over 18 felt they weren't prepared for motherhood, while just 35 percent of teens under 16 felt that way. Hispanic teens were the least likely to feel unprepared for the responsibilities of motherhood. Rosengard pointed out that because this survey was done with pregnant teens, the results don't necessarily apply for teens who haven't become pregnant or have terminated a pregnancy. Benuck said he thought it would be interesting to learn about teen fathers' attitudes toward teen pregnancy. Efforts at teen-pregnancy prevention "will be enhanced if you know what they see as good and bad of the situation, he said. "Clinicians should be aware of the perception of advantages teens have and develop strategies to discuss how these perceived advantages aren't really advantages and to emphasize the disadvantages," Benuck added. More information To learn more about teen pregnancy, visit the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Here are some Organizations you can check out...Single ParentingHere are some organizations that you might find informative or helpful. Feel free to check them out!!
From Self Help Clearinghouse Parents Without Partners National. 255+ chapters, 5 affiliates. Founded 1957. National. 25 chapters. Founded 1981. Model. 1 group in Arizona. Founded 1979. International. 7 affiliated groups. Founded 1975. National. 3 affiliated groups. Founded 1991. 23 februari I got a reply!!! YAY!!I finally got a reply from someone I e-mailed!!! YAY!!
Here is what I wrote:
Hi!!
I have a few questions and was hoping that you could point me in the right direction. I will tell you my situation first... I was fired from my job last week due to absences (8 in four months). I was called at work every time from my childrens' daycare to go get them because they had definite signs of being sick and according to the Public Health policies I had to follow, I lost my job. I immediately went home and called an attorney to see what I could do about that as being discriminatory, and he said that it is discrimination, but there is no law that they broke, so he couldn't help me. He did, however, direct me to the Human Rights Committee. I called them and a lady answered the phone. I explained to her my situation and she said that she, too, was a single mom and would like to see something in law that protects us from discrimination due to being a single parent who is responsible for their children when things arise like this, but there was nothing that the Human Rights Committee could do. Apparently they only protect individual rights, not 'family' rights. I proceded to ask her how I could change that and she said to write my legislature and of course, I did. I even took the time to write Oprah *LOL*. Ofcourse, I haven't heard anything back from anyone yet. :) I really don't expect to, being just one voice in the matter. I then proceded to join single parent boards and started posts in their forums sharing my story and my frustrations to discover that this is a national problem that happens on many different levels from keeping your job (like my story) to having a roof over your family's head (finding somene to rent to a single parent). I got so upset hearing all of everyone's stories that I suggested we start doing something about it! Well, that is when all the skeletons came out of the closet and no one knows where to start. One person said that she went as far as going to her state congressman and she was told that she would need to form a committee and lobby against congress. She was also told that there are legalities involved. So, here I am researching for everyone some answers so this doesn't just die in the water as another lost cause. Can you give me any links to information or anything? I need to get as much info as possible. Something needs to change and we want to bring about that change, we just need to know where to start. Do we form a committee and start rallies? If that is the case, how do we go about that? What are the legalities involved? Please help us!! If, for some reason you can't, can you direct me to someone who can? Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you soon. Sincerely Frustrated, Bethany Edwards :) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
And here is what he wrote:
Bethany-
Thanks for your email. I'm sorry to hear about you losing your job because you had the nerve to do what's right for your kids! What our organization does is community organizing. By organizing together, we have the power to affect change in a way that we don't by ourselves. I'd be happy to meet with you to discuss what directions you may want to take, though I want you to know that our organization is not currently working on this particular issue. Our current legislative priority is securing quality, affordable health care for everyone in the state. Let me know if you'd like to meet & when. Our office is in Seattle. Where do you live? If you'd like to jump right in to get a sense of what we're about, we have a lobby day on this Tuesday in Olympia where we'll be talking to legislators about health care for all. During the day, we'll be providing training on how to effectively lobby your legislators - a skill that is transferable to any issue you want to lobby them on. Best, Joshua 206-389-0050 x108 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I will be giving him a call and making arrangements on going...YAY!!!!!!! I am excited!!!!!
An Update ~Hey!!
To you all who are taking track of what I am trying to do - here is an update!
I have started a forum on one of the single parents boards and WOW!!!!!! What a response!!!! There are hundreds of parents out there across the nation who have ran into 'single parent discrimination' in one form or another!!! In less than 24 hours of posting my forum I had received several responses, got a five star rating on the subject matter and had over a hundred views!!!! We are trying to gather more info on the subject and what we can do about it all. Ugh!! Talk about opening a can of worms!!! LOL!!!!!
One person who responded said that we needed to form a committee and rally for our rights and against discrimination, et cetera and that we would have to go to congress with our issues. Tehr eare legalities we have to be aware of as well. What a lot of dedication this is going to take!!! I am willing, though.
I have written to a few committees that I found on the internet trying to get info on how we can start one in my area, and to also pass on the info to other single parents across the nation that I have contact with who want to start something, too.
I will be sure to keep you all posted!!
In the meantime, if you want to do something yourself, here is what you can start doing:
1. Educate yourselves as much as possible on laws in your areas that pertain to your certain situation (to the point that you become experts on the subject),
2. Share what you find with others (in every way you can-be creative!!! It is all about reaching all those single parents and those who know some - outreach is the key word),
3. Share your story with other single parents in your area through blogging, joining single parenting boards and writing in their forums,
4. Form a group and get together with other single parents regularly to discuss your issues/findings and how you want to solve them, et cetera.
It is a LOT of work, but this is a BIG issue, too.
Good luck to you all on your journey! Keep me posted, too!!! :) What I wrote to my Legislature on 16 Feb, '07I wrote to my local Legislature on the 16th of February and wanted to share with you what I wrote: Subject: Being a Single Parent and What I am Up Against.
I Come home today, trying to keep it together in front of my two boys so they don't know the turmoil I am feeling, turmoil they are yet too young to understand but can sense in me. I was fired again from yet another job because of the absences I had taken from work due to their illnesses and the daycare policies. Eight incidences is what the daycare tallied up for me.
I am looking at possibly being thrown out of my apartment, losing my car insurance, having yet another judgment put on me from another bill collector that I cannot pay, skipping some meals so my kids can eat, and the list of worries goes on and on.
I believe all things happen for a reason and that you can always find the good in the midst of all the bad. I am on search for the good that can come out of this situation, not just for myself and my little family, but for all the single parents and little families out there that face the same challenges.
After getting home, I set to the task of looking for a sliver of justice in my situation. I called an attorney to find out if there was anything I could legally do about this and to no avail, he couldn't help me. He did direct me, however, to the Human Rights Committee. I called there and found another dead end. Apparently, this situation is not labeled as 'discrimination' and Human Rights is only about protecting individuals, not families like mine. The woman I talked to on the phone shared her fears as well, being a single working mom and the injustices that title bears. She wants to feel that there is some protection out there for her, too, and hopes that someday there is something in place.
She encouraged me to come here and see if there could be anything done.
Being a single mom, I strive to survive without the help of our taxpayers dollars, not for reasons of pride, but because I am capable of working. I see no sense in it. What further doesn't make any sense is why this keeps happening to single parents. Why isn't there laws that protect us in this situation? It doesn't make any sense.
Has anyone discussed this as being an issue when they have talked about downsizing the statistics of welfare? This would be one of those issues that should be brought to the table. Sure, it is great to have programs in place where you can go to school and get certified while on welfare, but once you are off, what protects you from being able to keep your job when your kids are sick and you have to miss work?
There are several good reasons to have something in place that protects single parents from being fired over absences due to their children's illnesses when they cannot be in daycare because of the policies. It is bad enough that you aren't paid for the days you miss.
Is there anything that can be done? Is there a way I could go about getting something done?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I am going to see what I can do about this and make a stand for single parents out there. If you wish to join me, or you are in a similar situation, please feel free to contact me. Something needs to be done, for our kids' sake!!!!!!! |
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